Flying

When I was younger, Peter Pan was my favorite film...not just the Disney version, but also the Mary Martin one...I always wanted to be able to fly, to explore new places, travel, and see the world...

I have been flying on airplanes since I was 6 months old, and somewhere along the way, I have developed this fear of flying.

I hate the feeling you get before lift-off and the descent. Every moment of turbulence leaves me clinging to my seat, praying to every god I know (and as a student of religion, I know a LOT of gods). On a recent and quite turbulent flight to London, I kept repeating my mantra of "healthy, safe, and happy flight." The person next to me must have thought I was really special.

Being with people I know does not help, as my family will tell you. I don't like being alone, yet I get cranky and annoyed with people talking to me...at the same time, too quiet a trip and eerie feelings take hold.

I hate waiting for planes, I like to be the first one to disembark, I even hate the smell of musk, used air, and vomit...

As I leave today to go to Montreal with my pals Jim and Olivia they should just know this: my normally bubbly personality vanishes and all that will be left of me is a trembling little girl clinging to Olivia's hand...